Literature

An ongoing series of informational , educational, or creative entries

For Crying Out Loud: Yoga Heals

June 7, 2018

When Yoga Found Me


When Yoga found me, I was shattered; 

recently widowed and bursting with grief

Drinking too much… sleeping too little… 

spending far too much time by myself

Not sure if I was coming or already gone


When Yoga found me, I was angry; 

angry at God for taking my husband

Angry at my husband for leaving me

Angry at me for letting him go


When Yoga found me, I was trapped; 

a prisoner to my memories

My husband died a hundred times over in my dreams. 

 Then, the others… one by one

Death was inescapable, even in sleep


When Yoga found me, I was alone; 

incapable of tolerating the company of others

Their petty little issues

Their perfect little lives


When Yoga found me, I was exhausted; 

worn thin by responsibilities

So much to do in the cruel aftermath of an unplanned death

Waters uncharted; left to navigate alone


When Yoga found me, I was lost; 

teetering on the edge of an empty nest with no wings to fly

“It’s too soon,” I thought. “She’s not ready for this.”

Truth be told… I wasn’t ready


When Yoga found me, I was stuck; 

unable to break free from the grip of my previous life

Petrified to take just one step forward into my new existence

Afraid of what would become of me


And just like that, I hit rock bottom. 

 I hated my new life. I needed to do something


I stepped into the studio with my ten dollar mat

I kept my head down; my gaze to the floor. “Leave me alone,” I thought

“Where are the tissues?” I questioned. 

 “Why are there no tissues in this God forsaken place?”

“What am I even doing here? I don’t even like Yoga.”


And there, on the mat, I cried. And cried. And cried some more


As I had hoped, they left me alone

I didn’t need tissues after all; the mat soaked up all of my tears

And surprisingly, I fell completely and unabashedly in love with Yoga

And soon, I understood precisely why I was there


When Yoga found me, I was saved


When will Yoga find you?


Leslie Gray

October 1, 2018

I Have Tears in My Ears Again


Shavasana; it gets me every time

Corpse pose

Death

The death of my practice


Of course it gets me


I did the best I could

I really, truly did


“Good, now let it go.

Let it all go.”


Ok


“Just breathe. You’re fine now. You did your very best.”


But…


“No buts. You did your very best.”


But…


“I said no buts! You did your very best.”


Ok, ok


Let it all go… In breath

Let it go… Out breath

Let go… In breath

Let…


Damn it all to Hell; I have tears in my ears again


Shavasana; it gets me every time


No matter what you do, do your very best. When the job is done, no matter the job, know that you did the best you could with what you had to work with.  If tears come during the process of letting go, let them. Tears carry toxins out of your body. Once you’ve accepted that you did your best, the toxic thoughts of failure and self-doubt must leave the body. They do so through your tears.  Let it all go.


Leslie Gray

Trusting Life's Plan

June 7, 2018

Don’t Go


“Wait, don’t go! Why are you leaving me?” I pleaded

“Was it something I said, or did?...

Something I didn’t do, or should have said?...

Please, help me to understand.

What did I do wrong?”


“Nothing”, he replied. “Nothing at all. You’re perfect.”


“Perfect? Perfect!?

If I’m so damn perfect, then why are you leaving me?” I demanded.


His response was simple yet profound… still ringing in my ears today.


“Because,” he said. “I’m not.”


Sometimes it does not matter how perfect you are or how well you do.

It is no guarantee that life will go the way you want it to.

Life will, however, go according to plan.

Trust the process.

Leslie Gray



I Am the Place

I am the place where God shines thru

Where He and I are one, not two

I need not worry, fret, or plan

For in His arms I know I am

And if I am relaxed and free

He'll carry out His plan thru me


Author Unknown

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